For Better or Worse..

what comes after the wedding is more important

It is a well-known fact that couples do pour a lot of effort, time and money in planning their dream wedding. Nothing really bad or wrong with that actually -- what's bad is when they neglect planning for what comes AFTER the wedding -- the marriage! Ideally, you and your future partner should have talked about the important aspects of your new life together before or soon after the engagement. Being in a couple relationship is radically different from sharing the rest of your life with another person. Sure, you love the person and you think that would make it easier to accept his domestic faults (snoring, food chomping, messy slip-ups, etc) -- but trust me, it's really easier said than done! LOL! After nearly 5 months of marriage, I still can't get over how messy Labsie is. To his credit, he's been cleaning up his morning mess ever since I talked to him about it. Yeah, COMMUNICATION is and will always be the best way to keep your marriage intact =)

Domestic and personality faults aside, what's more important to talk about are the life-changing compromises you and your partner will make. First off are the finances. Should both of you work or will one working partner suffice? Who will handle the finances and budgeting? Sometimes when both the husband and wife work, they keep their finances separate and just contribute to the household budget. If the married couple leans towards running a business, it is best to talk beforehand what kind of business will you go into, how much of your shared money will go into the capital, etc, etc. On a sidenote, Clean and Green Home Businesses are doing well these days. You and your partner might want to look into it! A cool green home based business that you might want to start is selling air purifiers. EcoQuestproducts help in getting rid of harmful elements in the air we breathe. Check out Ecoquest's profile and know more about this business opportunity.

Next, you should talk about how many children you want and when will you be financially and emotionally ready to become parents. Of course, you can opt to not have children and just travel/loaf around like us ;-) Also, in the event that you two can't bear children (despite fertility treatments), is surrogate parenthood and/or adoption a feasibility? Some persons are really not into it so it's best you talk about all the possibilites with regards to having kids. Also important to talk about is where you two will live after the wedding. Most couples opt to have their own space but to some who are limited financially, there's the option of staying with either set of parents or other family members. Now this setup is quite sensitive so it's best you and your partner talk beforehand what you will contribute to the household. This prevents the wife from being reduced into a maid by the in-laws or the hubby being called dirty names (lazy, good for nothing, etc).

There are other lots of stuff to talk about like the religion to be followed at home or by the kids (especially if you don't have the same faith), frequency of visits to each other's families if you live apart from them, limit of financial support to your families, compromises with regards to career advancement especially if you two both work (and most especially if both are workaholics!!), who's gonna do the household chores as it's not just the wife's duty anymore (hah!), etc, etc. The main thing is: TALK with your partner about your expectations, needs and wants with regards to marriage! Always, always, always keep the communication lines open.. =)

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posted by Melissa Solito on 9:05 PM under ,


Giraffe said...

Lovely romantic blog DOCTOR! Why not come onto bloggersbase and post to the Endocrinology or health section! Need competent bloggers like you! I have a feeling you'd also do great in Media or Humor. :)